Timed Virtual Assignment

Dear Xiao Wen,

Hi! It’s me, Xiao Wen, from 2023. How are you? I hope you are doing your best in your music career thus far, and have managed to experience many new and exciting things that I as a first year Composition student could have never expected to do. 

In the midst of it all, I imagine that some problems simply never go away, do they? In our line of work, the constant comparison and self-criticism we face everyday is an inevitable stressor, and I can only wish that you do not experience this as intensely as you once did. There is something known as a “fear” of composition – a fear of writing something out of line, a fear of not meeting the expectations of your audience, a fear of disappointing yourself. When this vicious cycle of negative thoughts persists, I have even doubted if I should be pursuing this career at all. 

I recently discovered methods that could help you in mediating this issue. Dr Don Greene is a peak performance psychologist, and in his book 11 Strategies for Audition and Performance Success, he encourages performers to keep a Courage Journal (Greene, Page 31), where they can keep track of times that they were brave and did something out of their comfort zone. I believe that this same principle can be applied to composers as well. It could be beneficial to keep a journal of all the times you have doubts about a compositional decision, or being anxious to apply for a commission, and the respective outcomes of each situation. In the future when you look back at the entries, Greene asserts that “every deposit of courage collects a bit of interest” (Greene, Page 32). When our mind becomes used to overcoming the mental hurdles of taking a leap of faith, we will become braver in our everyday lives and be braver while creating music. 

Another problem that you might be facing is changing composition teachers in the event that you move overseas for exchange or graduate school. Having studied at YST for the past few years, you may have become accustomed to the teaching style of YST Composition teachers, and may find it an uncomfortable change when interacting with teachers in other institutions, especially overseas. As composers, we are all very independent thinkers and often take a lot of pride in our work. Therefore, it may be more difficult to change our mindsets and make it harder for us to take criticism from others. Furthermore, we have been taught to defer to our teachers because they are more senior in experience and have more dominance over us. However, something that I was reminded of during my MUA1163 Week 4 class discussion with Maestro Jason Lai is that our teachers always want the best for us, and they want us to succeed while under their tutelage. It is important to trust our teachers and trust the process of learning under them, because there must be a reason for their methods of teaching. As Greene mentions in his book, effective communication with our teacher about what we want to learn and how we can go about having the best cooperative relationship is vital to our development as musicians and composers (Greene, Page 16-17).  I believe that no matter who the teacher is, there are precious lessons I can take away from them. In order to achieve that, I hope you will be courageous and approach a new teacher with a positive mindset to reap the most out of these wonderful experiences. 

In my current phase of life, I still have yet to figure out what is the direction in which I want to develop myself artistically, and I wonder if you have done so. With the sheer number of brilliant minds in the field, I ponder about how I can add value through my own skill sets. While this is a great topic to reflect about, it also runs the risk of me unable to find my own place in the world, leaving me feeling lost and uncertain. I suspect that this problem will continue to persist even in your time, because it is a question that artists ask themselves all the time – who am I? 

“How to be an Artist” by Jerry Saltz may be of use in such scenarios. In Lesson 2, he boldly claims, “Tell your story and you will be interesting.” It is a declaration of pure confidence in yourself, and an important mantra to follow. No one else can be you, and by having the courage to put your story out for the public to perceive, you have already established your artistic identity through the simple act of being unique. As Saltz opines, “Proficiency and dexterity are only as good as what you do with them.” Even if you may be a total amateur at your craft, your audience will still view you as an individual. Show them the world through your eyes, let them hear the sounds that fascinate you, and bring them along for the life that only Xiao Wen gets to live on a daily basis. 

Another lesson that Saltz mentions which I believe is of great importance is Lesson 24 – “Artists Must Be Vampires”, which highlights the core of peer relationships in an artistic community. He emphasises the importance of forming tight-knit groups who exchange ideas together as well as support each other through the process of creating. I believe this is indeed very important, because rather than having toxic relationships with our peers due to constant comparison and competition (Week 1: Facing Curveballs with Resilience), it is more beneficial to learn from each other and feed off each other’s positive energy than to isolate ourselves from the community because we feel that we are inferior to our peers. In such cases, we must learn to cultivate positive self-talk rather than criticise ourselves harshly all the time. Greene teaches a 3-step method to changing our self-talk to a more positive one (Greene, page 20-23). Over time, it will become easier to treat ourselves kindly and affirmatively, thus boosting our confidence in our skills. In these ways, we can minimise the self-doubt we face in our daily lives, and even gain a supportive circle of friends along the way.

I hope these lessons I learnt can be of help to you as you and I continue on our artistic journeys. One day, I will catch up to you and see all the sights that you have seen! Till then, take care and stay happy! Cheers,

Xiao Wen

22 September 2023

Sources:

Greene, Don. 2012. 11 Strategies for Audition and Performance Success.

Saltz, Jerry. 2018. “Jerry Saltz: How to Be an Artist.” Vulture. https://www.vulture.com/2018/11/jerry-saltz-how-to-be-an-artist.html.